Wedding Planning Tips Every Same-Sex Couple Should Know:
Wedding planning is stressful enough. It gets even more confusing when most of the advice out there revolves around a bride and groom—and you’re both one of the above.
1. Don’t worry about what you “should” do
Instead of worrying about how to make your ceremony line up with (straight) tradition, view it as a chance to throw an event exactly your way, without any of the old-school “must-haves” that don’t mean anything to you personally.
2. Be creative with your wedding party
Who says a woman has to have maids of honor and only guys get to nominate best men? Choose the attendants you want up at the altar with you—whatever sex they are—and name them accordingly. You could have bridesmen, groomsmaids, a man of honor or a best woman, for instance, or give the whole gang a fun name like the “I Do Crew” or “Bridal Brigade.” Or skip the attendants altogether and keep all eyes on you and your partner.
3. Start thinking about your outfit early
If you’re two men planning to wear tuxes or suits, finding what you want is pretty simple. Not so much if you’re a bride who doesn’t want to wear a gown. If you have the budget, it’s worth looking into having an outfit tailored or custom-made for you, which can take months; otherwise, starting months ahead of time gives you time to find decent deals and styles you’ll be proud to wear down the aisle.
And here’s a smart tip if you and your wife-to-be are both sporting dresses that you’re not showing to each other in advance: Share photos of what you’re going to wear with your wedding planner or a friend. They can steer your partner in the right direction so you and your future bride aren’t clashing in formality, style or color.
4. Social media could help
Can’t visualize what your invitations, vows or any other part of your wedding should look like? That’s what Pinterest is for.
5. Put your own stamp on the ceremony
Many traditional wedding ceremonies feature a groom waiting at the altar for his bride to walk toward him down the aisle. So what happens if you’ve got two grooms or two brides? It totally depends on what you and your partner feel comfortable with. Some ideas:
- Walk down the aisle one right after the other
- Walk each other down the aisle, perhaps arm in arm or holding hands.
- Walk in unison down separate aisles leading to the altar.
- Flip a coin before the ceremony to decide who proceeds down the aisle first.
6. You can still have your own pre-parties
There’s no reason you have to forego a bash with your best buds just because you’re both bachelors or bachelorettes. So go ahead and plan your own celebration, whether it’s a weekend in Tuscany or a trip to a Umbrian vineyard, and even your own showers if you have different ideas about who should be invited and where they should take place.
7. Be wary of unfriendly vendors
I don’t think a lot of planners and couples realize how many people don’t support marriage equality. When contacting a vendor for a first time, make it clear from the outset that your partner is of the same sex. That way, any companies that have a problem with it can say so right away and you don’t need to waste any more energy on them.
8. A planner may be worth the cash
Though a wedding planner isn’t in everyone’s budget, a coordinator can help you save time by steering you toward venues and officiants that he knows to be inclusive of same-sex weddings, and can vet vendors for you so you don’t have to do the potentially disappointing dirty work.